I have no one. I am alone and as the force of injected illusion
and fake tenderness awakes, I move a step closer to a vicious destination. How
could I know who's mine? But I question myself; what is that I call mine? I
link things to myself and name them mine, in fact they are not. I confuse
myself with the linkage and the bond holding a valuable gratification that is
indeed not the real thing. I looked up at the white walls around myself and
again buried my head under the covers of my bed sheet. I, like a child, scared
and afraid of monsters and beasts, fear that one-day, my most precious thing,
very soon is going to vanish, and I will no more be able to cope with callous
realities. The point strikes in my mind and makes me cry and suffer the ach
that if one day you will leave me and go far away, that one day I will lost the
battle, one day someone who used to cherish my smile, who use to wipe my tears,
who always lend a shoulder to cry on, the one with whom my world gleams, the
one who was everything for me, my world, my breaths, my life, what I will be
without him. Some times things become so hard that even though you sense the
trouble coming up, you try not to accept it with arms wide-open in fact just
turn around and deny the essentials and veracity. I, lost in awkward situation,
tears rolling down my eyes, and I so helpless, lie in my bed. There was
silence, the tickling of clock hit in my mind and I could not bear that. I
tried to make movements but I could not feel any nerve inside myself. Slowly
and gradually the power of fear and gliding came over me. I felt as if my
breaths are ending I was trying hard really hard suddenly the telephone bell
rang. I ...I could not do anything, with much attempt and shaking hands I
slowly picked it up and someone on the other end said "sorry". I felt
as if I became hallow in a second, as if my whole little paradise is destroyed,
my home ruined, I, so helpless, so numb, my mind lost, as if I no more exist.