Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. 

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or already married to someone. 

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

 Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.  

The road to success??.. Is always under construction. 

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy If at first you don't succeed?.

 Destroy all evidence that you ever tried 

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

 If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.  

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.