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Domestic violence - Are these divorces justified?
submitted 8 months 25 days 22 hours ago by: Babarzm : 19 comments
I have recently learned about two cases, my friends, whose marriages resulted in divorce because their husbands use to beat them. Most educated people living in Pakistan are getting sick of this very stupid tradition.
1- What in your opinion is the most commonly used rational for domestic violence in our society. Is it rooted in our culture, religion, peers/family pressure or mere ignorance?
2- In my opinion, both these girls were fully justified to divorce there husbands as beating ones wife is not acceptable. What is your opinion?
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in my opinion , one should refrain from such acts , i will be posting verses of the Quran
regarding how to treat your wives , not only that, islam also gives inheritance rights to female gender.
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O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
(Translations of the Qur'an,004.019)
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Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) do not share their beds, (and last) beat (tap) them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all).
(Translations of the Qur'an,4:34)
(it is NOT PERMISSIBLE TO STRIKE ANYONE'S FACE, CAUSE ANY BODILY HARM OR EVEN BE HARSH.
interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of miswak (a small natural toothbrush)! They further qualified permissible "striking" as that which leaves no mark on the body.)
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Allah (thus) directs you as regards your Children's (Inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two-thirds of the inheritance; if only one, her share is a half. For parents, a sixth share of the inheritance to each, if the deceased left children; if no children, and the parents are the (only) heirs, the mother has a third; if the deceased Left brothers (or sisters) the mother has a sixth. (The distribution in all cases ('s) after the payment of legacies and debts. Ye know not whether your parents or your children are nearest to you in benefit. These are settled portions ordained by Allah; and Allah is All-knowing, Al-wise.
(Translations of the Qur'an,004.011)
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Quite a complicated issue whose causes must be well covered by some human rights associations and NGOs. Without any research, 'tis hard to analyze the whole thing. I have found the wives of businessmen, addicts and army officers suffering more often than others do due to this.
Men possess greater physical strength and only good breeding and control can prevent them for abusing that power. Though we largely define domestic violence as beating for me any way in which a man withdraws his attentions or moves away from his wife is equally tortuous.
Socioeconomic factors also create their own pressure. Some women keep suffering from domestic abuse because their own families don't provide them that protection or security which warrants standing up against the violence. Those who have children are in the worst quandry unable to make a decision which would affect the future of the children foreva.
Any woman who decides to step away from a man like that does the best possible thing for herself. This is no way to live and come what may, nobody has the right to exert any kinda physical or corporal punishment upon you.
The society neva spares anyone so that should not be something which one should worry about before taking such a bold step. The hell with a society which protects such men!
- Getting divorce was the right thing to do. No use in prolonging agony.
- I thing the marriage cease to exist the day husband/wife start physical abuse.
- It has got nothing to do with only our culture. This is happening in every society and religion. The problem in pakistan is that some people start quoting our religion in a negative way to justify their beating of the wife.
- Beating another human being is a savage act in any civilized society
Multi-country Study on Women's Health and Domestic Violence against Women
http://www.who.int/gender/violence/who_multicountry_study/summary_report...
The number of cases which do not get reported are probably far higher then those that are reported & documented. The only solution in my opinion is in empowering of women. All Pakistani women should study and adopt professions. They will not just make theirs & family's lives better/future safer but will also contribute to economy of our country.
Plant a tree
Education and Equal rights for bothe Men and Women
babar, do u really think that by educating women, domestic violence would somehow decrease?? how come??
n so far as the decision of ur friends abt divorce goes...i guess its feasibility depends on various situational factors...their society, for instance....if they were living in some free society which doesnt frown upon divorced women then it was ok ...but if they were residing in pakistan then its pretty much.Out of the frying pan, into the fire situation...coz our society just never accepts divorced women ..she is made to feel guilty...i remember being chastised by khalifah when i said i would rather be beaten than divorced..but thats exactly what i would do coz i would never want my parents to feel humilated on my account...
Yes mam education and empowerment is the only way. It is easier when women continue to pursue some form of career even after being married. More importantly, every girl at time of engagement should make it very clear to her fiance that look I will not tolerate any physical abuse so bare in mind that the day you raise a hand on me our relationship is
finished, Capish.
Pinky have faith in your abilities and stop building a psychological prison around yourself. In most cases, these barriers are only psychological.
As example, both these friends were educated girls. Both of them are now living independent lives. One of them is also raising a child.These two girls have set a standard, not just for other victims of domestic violence but also for parents who fear for future of their daughters, for society which thinks that women cannot respectfully earn their livings on their own and also for those crooks who think that they are the provider of money so they can do whatever they wish too and poor woman is bound to surrender.
These two girls are catalysts for change - a silent revolution - a pride for their parents
Plant a tree
I agree with Iola here...
Also, I think oft-times domestic violence is attributed to work or financial pressures in the third world and thus, when stress levels are high and one is aggravated slightly, he loses control and self-restraint...
Yes, I think the divorces are justified in this case...
HawaOmar: oft-times domestic violence is attributed to work or financial pressures in the third world and thus, when stress levels are high and one is aggravated slightly
Exactly! Another reasons why women must continue to pursue careers even after being married.
Plant a tree
This blog reminds me Khalifa. Once we had a heated discussion on the same topic. Where is he btw?
Thats the problem with cyber life. People vanish. There is no human touch..........humanity
In these days, when some one vanishes in Pakistan we say that he/she might be died in suicide bomb blast. But dont what to say for those who have vanished in USA. I hope he is safe and sound.
but he might have visited his relatives on eid :(
Muslims who vanish in US ends up in Cuba. Hope thats not the case with Khalifah too. :-P Glad I am in Australia
Plant a tree
How mean you are babar :x
"mean"ingless actually ;-)
Plant a tree
That is why I call this cyber world devoid of humanity. We will never know the one who is here today........... will no longer be in this world and we will never know. So will I vanish.....so will all of you. Nameless......
That is why I call this cyber world devoid of humanity. We will never know the one who is here today........... will no longer be in this world and we will never know. So will I vanish.....so will all of you. Nameless......